THE OBSESSION OF THE CO-DEPENDENT LOVER
If you are hurting, I must make it better.
I can feel you more than I feel myself.
And I am obsessed with talking/feeling/processing your thoughts, feelings, desires.
It doesn’t matter how long or little I have known you.
Somehow you receive the highest priority for me.
What you want is most important.
It keeps changing and so I have to change with it.
You check out of life, I check out too.
I put aside all things for just a few moments with you.
You never have to feel the weight of your feelings or needs.
I will hold them for you.
Create chaos and I will explain you had a hard childhood.
Try to manipulate me and I will find a way to trust you again.
Because I pride myself in loving those that cannot love.
Makes my feel brave and purposeful.
The only things I am interested in thinking about and talking about when I am not with you, is you. Everything else cannot keep my attention.
If you don’t need me, I am bored.
I have nothing to do with my life honestly.
I enjoy more putting out your fires, talking about what your struggles are, to ignore my own serious addictions.
Give me reason to live with how you need me. How you don’t know how to hold your emotions or what to do with them.
I will help you to the detriment of my own life and well being.
Society calls me a dutiful wife.
Religion calls me devout.
I am seen as good and loyal and normal when deep down I know I am drowning.
I cannot hide this long from myself but I can hide it from everyone else.
The only thing that makes sense is loving you deeply beyond anything else.
It’s the only thing that makes the aching subside for a bit.If you will let me take care of you and ignore my own healthy needs Boundaries WantsI will do it until I get sick, lose friends, lose my job, because nothing matters as much as you do, my love.
If anyone has concern I will tell them they are trying to rob me of my own true joy.
How dare they try to get in the way of my love.
I will love you til death do us part.
No matter how much I cry or scream in anguish.
No matter how painful it gets.
You are worth it, my love.
My love will save you from the demons in your head and I will always be a safe place for you to hide from the world.
Isn’t that what love is for?
Written by the gorgeous:
Maria Palumbo
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